


A Bleeding Heart

by BulletStead



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:48:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BulletStead/pseuds/BulletStead
Summary: This has been on my mind all day, thought why not write it? So hope you enjoy and grab your tissues 🤣The suffering Jay Halstead is going through is so unbearable. He can’t do it alone and Hailey Upton knows this. A shoulder to lean on is what Jay needs and she’s there for him.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Kudos: 42





	A Bleeding Heart

Waking up from his deep slumber, he knew immediately where he was. He was home at his place, a sigh left his lips as memories flood his mind. Getting kidnapped, telling Angela the truth, her shooting him, waking up in the hospital.... the place he hated the most. Hailey though... seeing her first thing when he woke up was incredible. If only he could wake up with her like that... maybe not holding his hand by a hospital bed, but in bed with him together cuddling.

Deciding it was time to get out of bed, he finally sat up; it was too fast of a move though. He winced as pain shot through him. It’s always fun being 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘵 He opens his phone, making a face as he saw all his teammates left a ton of messages. He knows everyone’s worried but he doesn’t need them to be; this was his fault. He deserved it. 

A knock is coming from his front door, he slowly makes his way there. Soon as he opened it he saw it was Hailey. So many questions cross his mind. What was she doing here? What happened to work? Why did she have to look so beautiful? It was more painful to bare than his physical pain; not able to kiss her, hold her. She’s your partner Jay. 

He snaps out of his train of thoughts as he stood there looking at her, finally finding his voice. “Hey.” He smiles as she said hey back. “What’s in the bag?” She laughed with a shrug. “Don’t laugh okay? But I thought since you can’t do much, I figured homemade pizza would be nice.” 

He smiled more as he let her in. He closed the door and led her to the table. “Homemade pizza? I didn’t know you cooked. You didn’t burn the place down did you?” She glared at him playfully. “Ha, ha. You think you’re so funny.” She playfully rolled her eyes reaching into the bag.

He goes to get plates down from his cabinet but she shook her head. She pulled out paper plates and cups. “I’d like to think so.” He held his hand out for the plate as he answered her. She sets a nice warm pizza on his plate then put one on hers. 

“How’s the arm?” She pulled out a few cans of soda, she feels ridiculous now she brought cups but oh well, cans work too. “Sore, stiff too. I hate laying on my back.” He admitted as they both go to the living room and sit on the couch with their food and drinks. “It’s going to take awhile before you can rest on your side again, but hey free homemade Upton pizza.” 

She chews on her bite of pizza and smiled at him. He’s laughing as he takes a bite too. “I thought you’d charge me there for a second.” He takes another bite as the greasy, cheesy and pepperoni pizza filled his mouth and blasted his tastebuds. It didn’t taste that bad, he didn’t think it would. He had no doubt in his mind she wasn’t a good cook. 

“That’s a great idea, the soda and pizza will be fifty dollars now.” Her voice is full of teasing. He purposely choked on his pizza. “What?!” He looks at her surprised but he knew she was joking. “You heard me.” She’s chewing as if she didn’t just ask for an arm and leg handout. 

“Yeah, I’ll get on that soon as I finish my slice... actually might go for another.” He’s smirking as he finished his first then grabbed another out of the box she had in the bag. “That’ll be hundred now.” She’s giggling as he’s glaring at her. He takes a bite out of it humming. “I know how to count. I don’t need you doing it for me.” 

She’s drinking her soda finding this so amusing as they eat. “But it’s fun watching you make those faces.” He’s rolling his eyes now as he sips his soda. She’s grabbing another slice and he can tell she’s getting serious as she gets so quiet and pondering whatever is on her mind. 

“What is it?” He’s taking another bite as he leans back on the couch, watching her. “How are you feeling?” He sighs as she asked that, he looks at his half eaten second slice of pizza. “You don’t need to ask that. Don’t ask that.” She frowns as she’s looking at him. 

“Why not Jay?” She can tell he’s shutting her out. She set the plate on the coffee table and rested her hand on his knee. It makes him frown more. “Because I don’t .... I don’t deserve it. I did this to myself... it’s my fault Hailey... he’s dead because of me.” He sets his plate down without looking at her. 

“Jay, hey. Listen to me. We all make mistakes, you’re human. It’s okay to hurt over that mistake that happened. It doesn’t mean you’re the worst person to ever be alive.” He shakes his head and stands up. “I put an innocent man in cook county. He died Hailey! Because of me! He was innocent, he kept telling me he didn’t do it... but I wouldn’t listen.” 

He feels tears welling up in his eyes. He can’t cry... not now! Not in front of her. She stands up seeing how much he’s hurting and walks over, she hugs him gently since his arms in a sling. “I killed Marcus West.” He mumbled the name as it left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

“I don’t need sympathy, I don’t need comfort either. I deserve whatever I get coming my way.” She hurts for him and can feel his pain. Even when he growled those sentences out she still hugged him and he finally broke down. He cries in her arms as she holds him. 

He feels his chest sobbing hard as more tears came out. He holds onto her tight with his arm that’s not injured. He isn’t sure how she’s not running away from him, telling him he’s a monster or calling him names. It’s not like she has before but some reason he expects it. 

Except it never comes and Jay cried all he could cry out till he couldn’t anymore. “You don’t deserve anything bad coming your way Jay. Don’t say that. It’s okay to hurt and to feel pain like you’ve never felt before. What matters is you have people who love and care about you. I’m not going anywhere Jay.” 

He keeps his eyes closed as he listened to her. It felt good to be held and comforted, but apart of him still thinks he doesn’t deserve it. She’s too good to him, he deserved to be shot... he deserves to die. 

“You deserve all the good Jay, no matter how many mistakes you do. You’re a good man and I know your heart. I’m not going anywhere.” He squeezes her tighter to him, his heart breaking more as she says that. The agony, the pain is so unbearable it doesn’t compare to his arm though, but as they go back to the couch and she still held him. 

He felt better, but his heart still so heavy. She wipes his tears away and he’s looking at her as his head rests on her chest. She’s crying too, she hurts when he hurts and he can tell this is effecting her as much as it is him. He wipes her tears away too, she leaned into his touch as he does. This felt good, too good. He didn’t want to move from this spot. “You’ll always be a good man in my eyes, Jay. Nothing can ever change that.” 

He slowly nodded his head, he couldn’t say much more, how could he? She left him speechless. This feels so intimate and yet he doesn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. he understood her because with her. He feels the same way. Nothing can ever change how he sees Hailey; with that last thought and his meds working from taking them earlier before letting her in. He drifts off into her arms, feeling safe and secure. 

She held him like that while he slept. He looked so peaceful. She didn’t plan for them to end up like this but here they are and she’s drifting off with him, a smile on her lips as they held onto each other.


End file.
